So my peeps time to update you on what's been going on. I've been a full time working girl for the past two weeks while my big sister (my boss) was away holidaying. Let me first tell you that I forgot how hard it is to get anything done when you are gone from the home all day. Sadly blogging and crafting went by the way side. My hat goes off to those of you who can juggle it all.
As for my schedule, most days started early with me out of the house by 7:30 am. That meant a 6:30 am wake up time, for those of you who are more familiar with me, you'll recognize that hour hasn't been on the schedule in a very long time. But I actually surprised myself and didn't mind the early hour so much, made me even think that I could handle it on a more permanent basis. Don't quote me though.
For the most part everything went fine at home, the kids were a bit needy by the end of the whole experience, or maybe that was me deflecting ;) Thankfully my mum stayed close to keep them fed, watered and made sure they were working on their assignments.
And what did I learn during the past two weeks? There are drawbacks on either side of the stay-at-home/work full time option. Being a stay at home (-schooling) mumma truthfully makes me crazy at times, then there are those nagging insecurities and doubts in my head about what I am accomplishing long term. I often fool myself into thinking I would be ultimately fulfilled in a stylish pinstripe suit with an assistant and a name on my door. Hmm, sounds lovely in my minds eye doesn't it?
But when I think about the things I'd have to give up I quickly realized that today, right now, is not that time for me. I would miss the kids too much, the interaction with them during the day, being a part of their lives in the way that homeschooling allows. I would also miss sneaking in a little creative time each day without being consumed with how the next day is going to fly in my absence.
The choices I've made my life might be a little odd and non-conventional but I like it that way. It's a life of slow paces and (mostly) happy faces with noisy kids all about. It's not always rosy, it certainly isn't perfect - I'm their mumma after all - but it is an expression of what's inside my heart and mind. And while I still get confused about my direction, I am certain that a life filled with love can never be far off the mark...and that mark for me is home.
PS, the photos above are from the Basilica in our city that burnt down in 1968. It was later rebuilt but some features of the original basilica were left as is. I have some additional photos to show that I'll leave for a later post. It's good to be back in this space, I've missed it. xxx
I never, ever wanted an office job or a "career", yet somehow, here I am. From this side of the fence, there's no doubt in my mind that I'd rather be in your place! At least you're providing tangible benefits to somebody. Too much of what goes on in the corporate world is phallo-centric wankage. Enjoy what you've got. I spend eight hours a day with no pleasant interaction and nothing nice to see, touch, smell, or hear... then I go home knowing for certain that I've accomplished nothing except earning the paycheck. How is that fulfilling?
ReplyDeletethanks for sharing. I always looked to have a good job and in my mind I saw myself as an independent woman, city, in love of an office work. The truth is that I already tried that and found there were better things (i want to have kids !)... so although I still have my job I'm looking for a way to get rid of this routine and spend more time at home ... Congratulations if you can do it!
ReplyDeleteHi Kat,
ReplyDeleteI appreciate your input and perspective about this post, thank you for taking the time to write. I espeically love the part of your comment about "phallo-centric wankage" lol....it made me laugh...out loud! I've been home with my kids for 12 years now - and sometimes I really do take it for granted but most days I'm pretty grounded. I know these days will end very soon and my children will be off on their own. pursuing their own path. Perhaps at that time I'll have the pin stripe suit and a name on my door...or maybe I'll be too busy taking care of grandchildren. Who knows, right?? Whatever the future holds, I do hope you are able to find some time at home one day soon. Thanks again and best wishes.
Rosamaria,
ReplyDeleteI think it is human nature to want to be somewhere else than where we are. I always have to remind myself that there are "seasons" in life for everything. Right now my season is at home with children, who knows how long it will be that way so for today I must make every effort to enjoy it. I'm sure that one day when I am working full time again I will look back on these days and wish I was at home with children once again. *sigh* Living in the moment is hard at times. Thanks for writing. :)